Being a stepmom is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I actually think I could rephrase that to, being a mom is a lot harder than I thought it was, or even further to, being a parent is a lot of hard work. I have a whole new respect for parents, mothers in particular because, let's face it the dad is just as much work at the kids!
Step-parents face added challenges though. It is hard to figure out what exactly your role is and how you actually fit in to an already existing family. Throw a not so cooperative Ex in there, and you end up with some major stress.
I have three step kids. They are 10 (Boy), 8 (Boy) and 4 (Girl). Navigating the world of children, school, sports and video games is a challenge, doubled because the video games aren't actually allowed at our house.
I'm lucky enough to live in an area that has a step parents meetup group. The first time I sat down with that group of stepmoms I felt so much relief. I wasn't alone, these women understood me and what I was going through. I HIGHLY recommend finding a group like this. If you can't find one in your area, start one. If you happen to live in the San Francisco Bay Area, join this one - Bay Area Step Parent's Survival Group.
My other favorite resource is StepMom Magazine. I cried the whole way through the first issue I read.